Through the Looking Glass at Home Depot

Home Depot. I could loose myself for hours in this store. Isle after isle offers limitless possibilities for the imagination. My friend and I just came back from spending two hours of what I like to call…yeah, right…not in this lifetime…now don’t lie, you know you play this game also…anyone who says different has probably never been to Home Depot…. Our trip begins in the mirror section of the store as we step through the looking glass into a world beyond our imagination. We look at the kitchen displays with gorgeous cherry wood cabinets and granite counter tops wondering who the hell can afford kitchens that cost thirteen thousand dollars? But for now, who cares…I’ll take the one with the ten foot kitchen island, please.

We continue up one isle and down the next letting our fantasy world get the best of us…we begin selecting doors for our country cottage…ceiling fans for our beach home…sliding glass doors that lead onto the deck of our Italian villa…we envision ourselves sitting on the veranda which overlooks our ten car garage…which is also in need of all new garage doors…what a life we could have.

Next stop… the appliances…new washer and dryer…a mere two thousand dollars…latest refrigerator with all the gadgets… that will set us back about three thousand…Stove which cooks are meals for us...not sure this model is on display…I bet it’s in the back for the VIP customers like us. I am sure someone will be around shortly to escort us to this private viewing lounge.

In the meantime, we need to make one last stop on our trip in this world that exists only in our minds…the garden center to select the perfect deck furniture…of course; it wouldn’t be complete without the fifteen hundred dollar Weber Grill…. What the frig!!! How many of these things does this store really sell…I want to meet the person who spends fifteen hundred dollars on a barbecue grill…Lawn Mower, did someone say Lawn Mower…of course they have them…it’s almost like walking onto a car lot…they have the basic model all the way up to the super deluxe lawnmower which costs almost five grand…once again…please, please introduce me to the man who is going to pay five grand for a lawn mower….

Reality hits us on the way out as one of the sales associates begins to give my friend the all too customary pick up line…hey, I saw you in here a few hours ago…you must be waiting for me to get off work…I am thinking…buddy, it ain’t happening…like our fantasy world motto inside the store…not in this lifetime…but, no sooner do we pay, then he is waiting outside for her. No, not in his Benz or Beamer…but, next to his shopping cart…not sure what that is all about…but a shopping cart is not a way to make a big first impression…he yells at her as we continue to our car…”next time, honey, I will give you my number.” What a sobering wake up call to the ultra rich life we had just stepped out of….only if it was on the other side of the looking glass.